Wednesday, March 29, 2017

This is Your Brain on Sports

I may not be an avid sports watcher, but I'm certainly becoming an avid sports reader! I'm certainly a novice when it comes to the world of sports, I only know a little, but if you give me a good book to read or an inspiring sports movie I suddenly transform into the biggest fan. This book had me hooked, I will gladly be a little cheerleader for this book, it was utterly fascinating! From underdogs to the attractiveness of quarterbacks to professional athletes making bad coaches and the t shirt cannon. This book discusses the science behind so many things that we don't even really bother to think about. It's truly eye opening. I learned so much about rivalries, effort justification, hot headedness and more. Even though it's nonfiction, it reads easy and is never overwhelming. Each chapter discusses a new topic and there are plenty of charts and funny asides to get readers laughing and thinking. Loved, loved, loved this book!

I received this book for free from the Blogging for Books in return for my honest, unbiased opinion.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Buttception: A Butt Within a Butt Within a Butt

I didn't know a 34 page book could be soo inspiring and so over the top bizarre, but I should have known better because... Chuck Tingle. Buttception contains three "novellas" that are all loosely connected. I'll try my best to wrap these up (ha) quickly and neatly and convince you to read this in the process (because why wouldn't you?!?).

Anally Yours, The Unicorn Sailor
Tuck has just been dumped by his girlfriend and everything sucks until he spies a strapping male unicorn sailor on his walk. Before he knows what he's doing he goes over to talk to the unicorn and asks him to dinner. There is immediate connection and sparks are flying, but much to Tuck's dismay the unicorn has to leave that very night to set sail on a year long sea voyage. They promise to write to each other and they do. Their letters get more and more passionate, "Just below his signature, Hunter [the gay unicorn] has left the pink marking of his puckered butthole, pressed against the page in a perfect starfish after applying a liberal helping of lipstick." Finally they re reunited and have passionate gay unicorn sex on the beach. As a surprise the unicorn (who has suddenly become a billionaire) buys a private island for the two of them and the only other inhabitants are a bunch of worker clones who resemble the unlikely lovers.

Pounded in Butt by My Own Butt
Kirk is a scientist trying to replicate the success that the gay unicorn had in making working drones. After dozens of failed attempts and a mixture of his DNA, a hawk, and a piece of his butt he is finally able to create a clone! His gorgeous butt has beautiful wings and a great sense of humor. Kirk can't believe he's falling for his own butt. After one date they decide they want to try anal. Because who doesn't want to pound their own butt? "...I push my living ass down onto the bes and watch as he spreads his majestic wings out behind him. For a living butt, his physique is quite impressive and I laugh out loud when I realize that I'm only complimenting myself." They live happily after after.

Pounded in the Butt By My Own Book "Pounded in the Butt My My Own Butt"
Buck Trungle is sick and tired of being sick and tired. He's a lonely author that can't get out of the shadow of all the books he's authored. One day he discovers that he's getting sued, by his own book! Pounded in the Butt By My Own Butt just wants some recognition, how come the author gets all the credit? Where are his royalties? The two decide to meet up without lawyers to see what they can do. Instead they find themselves instantly attracted to each other. One thing leads to another and suddenly the author is boning hos won book. "...my book pulls out of me and I drop down onto the floor before him, kneeling in tribute before my alpha book lover.


Space Raptor Butt Trilogy

Some books defy explanation. I will try my damnedest to make sense of this insanely weird niche dino gay erotica masterpiece. If you're new to the game there is an emerging trend for dinosaur erotica, while mostly released in eBook format you can occasionally make regrettable print purchases on Amazon (which I obviously did). Chuck Tingle is a "writer who defined a generation with his sensual brand of homoerotic thrillers" (taken from the back cover). Space Raptor Butt Trilogy is one of his more "well known" works as it was nominated for a prestigious Hugo Award (it started off as a joke, but momentum took off). The trilogy consists of: Space Raptor Butt Invasion, Space Raptor Butt Redemption, and Space Raptor Butt Ascension. Each "story" (sorry for all the quotation marks, I can't help myself!) is roughly only 10 pages, this book is only 37 pages long so it makes for quick reading. I'll try to do my best to quickly break down each story:

Space Raptor Butt Invasion
Astronaut, Lance Tanner, finds himself alone on a distant planet due to budget cuts. Unbearably lonely, he first thinks he's hallucinating when he spies another space suit clad figure in the distance. When the figure comes over into the space station and takes off his helmet to reveal a raptor astronaut, Lance is initially worried but the two form a friendship that eventually turns into romance full of hot gay dinosaur sex.

Space Raptor Butt Redemption
Lance and his raptor lover return to Earth and immediately find themselves under scrutiny. A trial is set and Lance is charged with being too "weird" in space and receiving funding from an evil corporation that steals unicorn tears. The reality is, the people of Earth are afraid of interspecies romances. Lance brilliantly defends himself against a corrupt lawyer and when he wins over the crowd and the judge he brings out his raptor lover and they make mad passionate love on the courtroom floor for everyone to witness and marvel at. The judge even starts weeping it's so beautiful. "I'm here to make sweet, sweet love to this raptor and show the world that even in space, love and positivity and hope and openness conquer all. If you all want to shut down the space program because of this then so be it, I'll still be in my back yard trying to build rockets and getting pounded in the ass by my raptor."

Space Raptor Butt Ascension
Lance and his raptor lover fly to the raptor's planet to see if in the future the humans can move there since Earth is dying. On the way they discover a stowaway, the leader of a bad organization who just escaped from prison. When they arrive on the friendly dinosaur planet they are greeted warmly by the dinosaur president. Suddenly a commotion breaks out as the bad stowaway tries to wreak havoc on this new planet. Since the planet runs on love the only way for Lance and his raptor to save the day is to start having wild passionate sex in front of the president. "Orion approaches confidently with his prehistoric alpha male swagger, then climbs down on his knees directly behind me." The love they create (and splatter everywhere) saves the day and they have made new friends on a planet that can save humanity.

Ridiculously insane and over the top. So obviously you should read this and anything written by Chuck Tingle. Trust me, you won't regret it (much).

Mexico

I've been on a short story kick and was definitely in the mood for this. Some of the short stories in here were slam dunks and others were odd ducks, with rushed endings and bizarre plots. For example, the opening story is beyond bizarre and flirts with cannibalism, drug lords, and ancient Aztec gods. All of the stories revolve around Mexico City and many of the characters are Americans or whites living in the city, viewing it through their lenses. Most, if not all, are crime stories as they apply to every day people; teachers, painters, journalists, students, mimes, etc. A lot of gang violence, drugs, rival Narco leaders and more. Dark, gritty, unexpected, this was an interesting read.

I received this book for free from Librarything in return for my honest, unbiased opinion.

Saturday, March 25, 2017

1984

You know... I'm not entirely sure that I actually did read this as a child. I swore I did, but I think I may have been confusing it with "Brave New World." Reading this as an adult living in a Trump run country was extra terrifying and made the book that much more powerful. This is one of those classics that is absolutely timeless. It only gets better with age. One of the finest examples of a dystopian future that I can think, Orwell does a masterful job painting a bleak picture and casting a poor hapless soul as the protagonist. Winston is not quite happy with life under Big Brother. He goes through the motions but he wishes things were different, he has no freedom because - "Freedom Equals Slavery." I don't want to say too much more and spoil the plot, but suffice it to say that this is required reading!

Thursday, March 23, 2017

The Princess Diarist

My opinion may not be popular on this book but I'm going to say it anyways. I did not love this memoir. It was a little choppy, pretentious, and didn't even talk about the filming of Star Wars near as much as the description implied. We hear all about the affair with Harrison Ford but that's about it. The middle portion of the book is her diary she kept while 19 and it's very flowery, and waxes poetic about Mr. Ford. She doesn't even come across as likable as I wanted her to be. I'm sounding like a jerk now, talking ill of the dead, but this book just didn't do it for me. Maybe hardcore Star Wars nuts will love it, but me... meh. It doesn't make me want to check out her other books later. It's well written, I just don't care for her words.... because I'm a monster.

Kansas City Lightning

A fascinating look at Charlie Parker's beginning. I assumed (wrongly) that this would be a full biography of Parker's life, but it stops before he truly hits the big time. It traces his rice in Kansas City, his hoboing to Chicago and then to New York to see the world and prove his worth, and ends with his eventual return to Kansas City. Included are many pictures, interviews with his first wife and a wonderful array of Jazz history and culture so that the reader can gain a better understanding of how Parker created a unique sound all his own while studying the Jazz masters of the day. A wonderfully informative book that makes me wonder if it's the first in a series. I want to know about his rise to fame, not just the beginnings!

Monday, March 20, 2017

Haven

This was my first and most likely last Kay Hooper book. I didn't realize that it was in the middle of the series until too late, but really I wouldn't have known if not for goodreads. It doesn't matter if this was a standalone or a series, this book sucked. Character development was minimal, the plot was laughably bare, and too much of everything was obvious. I straight up did not care who lived or died in this. Emma Rayburn fled Baron Hollow when she was a teenager and ever since she's been plagued with nightmares and dark visions. Her special crimes unit (full of psychics and shit) sends her back to her hometown to uncover why she really ran away and while there a body turns up. Oh no! Ugh., I can't use anymore brainpower on this one. Soo not a fan!

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Disaster falls

A heart-wrenching memoir of loss, grief, guilt, and pain as a father re-counts the tragedy of losing his eight year old son. What was supposed to be a fun family trip soon turned into a nightmare when their youngest son drowned while kayaking on the Green River. Almost numb with pain, the author recounts with clarifying and insightful detail the emotions (or sometimes lack thereof) experienced by him, his wife, and their only remaining child. Spanning over the course of a few years, this memoir is a glimpse into the tragedy that many families experience everyday. A wonderful, but heart breaking memoir that beneficial for everyone to read. Not everyone experiences grief the same way and reading this will help readers with that cold hard fact.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Things We Lost in the Fire

A fascinating, dark, and intriguing glimpse into the modern day lives of Argentinians. Told in short stories, Mariana Enriquez, brings the mundane, the dark, the unimaginable, and the supernatural to the forefront. Each story is unique; the characters flawed, questioning, and wholly real. From a haunted house, jealous friends, river monsters, to burning women. This collection is not for the faint of heart, but it is so very rewarding and beautifully written and translated. In the same vein as Stephen King and Joe Hill, these haunting short stories will have readers hooked and questioning. Definitely looking forward to reading more by this author.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Our Numbered Days

It's been a minute since I picked up a poetry book, but after having seen the viral video of Neil Hilborn reading his poem OCD, I knew I had to read more. He has a very evocative, brash, alluring style that I find most appealing and his poems cover a variety of topics. I very much enjoyed this collection, even though you can tell some are meant to be listened to, not just merely read. Reading this has made me inspired to fit some other poetry in, I need a good palate cleanser from time to time. I would definitely recommend this and his online videos to get a feel for his style and rhythm.

We Are Okay

I'm going to be completely honest, I initially picked up this book because of the badass cover. It's intriguing, I had to know what it was about. I discovered a quick read (like 2 hours only) about a young girl who flees her old life in California to start anew at a college in New York. Told in alternating timelines (the past summer and the current Christmas break); Marin struggles as her estranged best friend flies out to see her for three days. They haven't spoken since Marin fled California and questions need to be answered, relationships discussed. There is good suspense as the reader tries to figure out what actually happened to Marin and wonder as to what she's going to do with her life. This book also explores themes of homosexuality, art, independence, and family. All around a quick, good read.

Alone Together

An exceptionally well researched book that explore technology and the unintended effects it's having on how we interact with others and ourselves. Broken into two parts, the first half explores the robotic movement and the second half discusses networking online. I really wish there was a new updated edition (this was published in 2010) because so much has already changed. Advances in social media, online privacy (or lack thereof), and robotic developments. Turkle does a wonderful job discussing the pros and cons of our technological advancements and brings forth many soul searching questions. Is our morality changing? Our we becoming less satisfied with our lives? How do we present ourselves online?  Is social media what determines our happiness? Are we becoming more fake and competitive? Wonderful and depressing read, a little outdated even though it's only 7 years old, jus goes to show how fast technology is advancing!

Monday, March 6, 2017

Evil

Four siblings rule the hallways at their high school. Popular, beautiful, feared for their temper; the Bradens incite awe and wonder. But there is more to them than meets the eye. Kellen is the undisputed leader of the bunch, commanding and authoritative, the only one close to matching him in strength is his younger sister Shay who refuses to admit her strength. Caught in denial about how different she is, and soon caught up in a steamy romance, Shay has more on her plate then bargained for. A standalone paranormal romance featuring strong family ties, anger issues, a torrid love affair, and some soul searching. Narrated beautifully by Jorjeana Marie who does a masterful job relating Shay's inner turmoil and the Braden family drama with her smoky, sultry voice. Filled with teenage angst, romance, and paranormal eccentricities; this young adult novel is intended for more mature teens and could also be classified as new adult.

Steelheart

This is one of those books that almost defies description. The cover and summary didn't grab me, but the first chapter certainly did. It's a dystopian novel with superheros and badassery. I know I won't be able to adequately describe it, but it was certainly gripping, exciting, and entirely unique. I'm absolutely reading the sequel. This book will appeal not just to young adults (for whom it's attended) but for adults as well. This would make an awesome movie, the characters are unforgettable and unique, an all around win!

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

Grimm Woods

Fun premise, especially for those who like cheesy 80's horror films and snappy young adult dialogue. Scott is less than excited to start his first summer as a summer camp counselor at a storybook themed camp. He cheers up though when he realizes that the counselors are all young hot, horny, and ready to party. Just as he's about to get into the swing of things all hell breaks loose. Counselors are being brutally murdered in gruesome ways depicted in the old Grimm's Fairy Tale book. To save themselves, Scott and the other counselors are going to have to learn the morals to the gruesome fairy-tale murders in order to stay alive. What sick freak is killing all the counselors? And to what end? Full of witty dialogue, gory murders, and fun. Probably of most interest to young adults.

I received this book for free from iRead Book Tours in return for my honest, unbiased review.