Monday, March 27, 2017

Space Raptor Butt Trilogy

Some books defy explanation. I will try my damnedest to make sense of this insanely weird niche dino gay erotica masterpiece. If you're new to the game there is an emerging trend for dinosaur erotica, while mostly released in eBook format you can occasionally make regrettable print purchases on Amazon (which I obviously did). Chuck Tingle is a "writer who defined a generation with his sensual brand of homoerotic thrillers" (taken from the back cover). Space Raptor Butt Trilogy is one of his more "well known" works as it was nominated for a prestigious Hugo Award (it started off as a joke, but momentum took off). The trilogy consists of: Space Raptor Butt Invasion, Space Raptor Butt Redemption, and Space Raptor Butt Ascension. Each "story" (sorry for all the quotation marks, I can't help myself!) is roughly only 10 pages, this book is only 37 pages long so it makes for quick reading. I'll try to do my best to quickly break down each story:

Space Raptor Butt Invasion
Astronaut, Lance Tanner, finds himself alone on a distant planet due to budget cuts. Unbearably lonely, he first thinks he's hallucinating when he spies another space suit clad figure in the distance. When the figure comes over into the space station and takes off his helmet to reveal a raptor astronaut, Lance is initially worried but the two form a friendship that eventually turns into romance full of hot gay dinosaur sex.

Space Raptor Butt Redemption
Lance and his raptor lover return to Earth and immediately find themselves under scrutiny. A trial is set and Lance is charged with being too "weird" in space and receiving funding from an evil corporation that steals unicorn tears. The reality is, the people of Earth are afraid of interspecies romances. Lance brilliantly defends himself against a corrupt lawyer and when he wins over the crowd and the judge he brings out his raptor lover and they make mad passionate love on the courtroom floor for everyone to witness and marvel at. The judge even starts weeping it's so beautiful. "I'm here to make sweet, sweet love to this raptor and show the world that even in space, love and positivity and hope and openness conquer all. If you all want to shut down the space program because of this then so be it, I'll still be in my back yard trying to build rockets and getting pounded in the ass by my raptor."

Space Raptor Butt Ascension
Lance and his raptor lover fly to the raptor's planet to see if in the future the humans can move there since Earth is dying. On the way they discover a stowaway, the leader of a bad organization who just escaped from prison. When they arrive on the friendly dinosaur planet they are greeted warmly by the dinosaur president. Suddenly a commotion breaks out as the bad stowaway tries to wreak havoc on this new planet. Since the planet runs on love the only way for Lance and his raptor to save the day is to start having wild passionate sex in front of the president. "Orion approaches confidently with his prehistoric alpha male swagger, then climbs down on his knees directly behind me." The love they create (and splatter everywhere) saves the day and they have made new friends on a planet that can save humanity.

Ridiculously insane and over the top. So obviously you should read this and anything written by Chuck Tingle. Trust me, you won't regret it (much).

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